8 Lessons From My First Relationship

Every once in a while, you realize all of a sudden that you have learned something from that “once upon a time”, something specific, yet something which is often hard to put a finger on. I am quite often annoyed with myself for being so indulged in love & romance topics – it seems that this is where I can dedicate most energy, most willingly, or even obsessively. The caller last night was perhaps right in saying that everyone is somehow mentally ill in that they will be quite adamant about some specific thing(s) in their lives. Perhaps in mine it is love, or attachment. Anyhow, though flashes of past lovers keep popping back into my mind, I have learned not to be perturbed. Instead, I am glad for the way things turned out. At least my life experience is much richer now than it would’ve been.

Thought Catalog

1. You can’t love someone else without loving yourself first

There’s a reason for the cliché; it can’t be more true: no one wants to be with an insecure girl worried about every zit, stomach roll, and mismatched pair of socks.

It is so important to love yourself first, to know what you need from yourself and from a partner, to first nurture those needs on your own and spend time becoming your own best friend before you become someone else’s. And besides, how can you convince someone to believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself?

2. Dependence is dangerous

Prior to this relationship, I hadn’t known what it was like to become dependent on someone else. I had always been the one to stop myself from crying, to talk myself out of my own doubts. I soon became aware how easy it was to use someone so…

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