2013/2014

幾多場痛哭 其實值得哭嗎

2013

began with pervasive low moods, confusion, sense of weakness

then trying to make people happy by dancing in the streets

then becoming disillusioned with that again

applying and studying for the postgrad cert

finally quitting the job

busy school

doubting self again

feeling asocial, disconnected with friends and unmotivated to reconnect

angry with self, afraid to make decisions.

*

happy thing:

finding Mr A, but i don’t want him to be only an anesthesia from the rest of my life. i want him to be part of my happy life.

staying calm even when my m is coming out, before doing a good SCID

*

2014:

what good is worrying? just do what you can and you won’t need to regret. keep calm (clear-headed). keep going!

love myself and be a little bit better to myself with less self-criticisms, less self-harming through constant comparisons, less rumination

more sports, laughter, books, hugs and kisses

in the end, it doesn’t matter whether you succeed or not, it’s the process.

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